I wish I could’ve gotten my hands on TCM III but my video store didn’t carry it, so I skipped over to do the last sequel (so far) in the series. This film is most notable for Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConauhey starring in it before their careers took off. I wonder if either one still lists it on their resumes, somehow I think Matthew might but with Renee up for an Oscar now, I doubt she wants to be reminded of it.

When the movie begins, we’re giving another voiceover that talks about the former films’ plots. As a matter of fact, someone on imdb was nice enough to post it:
"August 18, 1973. News of a bizarre, chainsaw wielding family-reports which were to ignite the world's imagination-began to filter out of central Texas. Regrettably not one of the family members was ever apprehended and for more than ten years nothing further was heard. Then, over the next several years at least two minor, yet apparently related incidents, were reported. Then again nothing. For five long years silence..."

Then we’re shown a bit of a dowdy Renee Zellweger getting ready for her high school prom. You can tell right away she’s the film’s heroine because she’s fresh faced and wears glasses, i.e. the smart girl. They always survive. She takes pics with her almost feminine-pretty date. Then immediately we’re at the prom where we’re introduced to Heather ( Lisa Newmyer) and her jerk of a boyfriend, Barry (Tyler Cone)-she can’t find him because he’s making out with another girl in front of the school. She finds him then jumps in his car and takes off. He catches up, gets in then proceeds to tell her it was her fault because she didn’t let him sleep with her. He says blue balls lead to cancer, prompting Renee to come out from the backseat and tell Heather how wrong he is. This guy further proves his jerkydom by calling Renee a ‘dog’ and ‘ugly’. It’s amazing how the whole ‘ugly-with- glasses’ thing is still a staple in movies.

Anyway-they end up being hit by another car, which is being driven by a guy who seems really out of it. So Renee’s date stays with him while the other 3 go off into the woods. Heather further proves her uselessness by repeatedly hearing things and stopping. They come upon a small office where they meet Darla (Tonie Perensky); I don’t know what her business was but one duty involved flashing the local high school boys her implants. This character was very interesting, I read one comment describing her as ‘Dixie Carter on crack’ and that might be accurate. She calls a tow truck for the kids and they leave happily.

A tow truck arrives at where the cars are and out comes Matthew McConaughey. At first Renee’s date is happy; but realizes quickly Matthew isn’t here to help after he snaps the neck of the driver. He runs off after Matthew tells him how he’s going to kill him too. And they’re off! For the most part, Renee’s date did that running in a straight line that most horror movie victims do when being chased by a car. WHY? You’re in the woods for God’s sake!!! LOADS of trees! Dart in between them! No, he runs straight so of course he finally trips ( I guess since he was pretty, he got to do the silly pretty girl things) and Matthew runs him over…then backs up over him…then runs over him again…backs up…You get the idea.

So back to our intrepid trio-Barry & Heather are bickering then end up leaving Renee behind; she’s caught sight of something and goes off to investigate and doesn’t realize they’re not waiting. They walk until they come upon a house (that to me looks deserted), Barry pounds upon the door then goes around the back to find someone. Heather sits on the porch swing and doesn’t realize Leatherface has come up behind her. He admires the tiara she has in her hair-I think the writer got caught up in the effeminate wigs that Leatherface wore in the first movie- then when she screams at the sight of him, snatches her up to take her in the house.

In an almost completely remade scene from the first movie, she tries to run out the door when he grabs her back and takes her into the slaughter room, putting her in the deep freezer. Barry comes from the back of the house and can’t find her, but he meets a quote spouting W.E. (Joe Stevens). They have a skirmish then Barry runs into the house and locks W.E. out.

He then decides to go to the bathroom! He finds the bathroom, does his business (all the while calling for Heather) then turns around to see a corpse in the tub. FINALLY deciding being there isn’t a good idea, he tries to escape but is caught by Leatherface, who whacks him with a hammer. He goes to put him in the deep freezer but there’s not enough room for both him and his girlfriend so in another scene lifted from the original, he hangs her on a meathook.

Meanwhile, Renee is walking along, calling for her friends when the tow truck drives up. She’s wary but gets in the truck anyway. Matthew acts low-key at first but then slowly becomes manic, slapping off her glasses and telling her to look in the back of the truck. She finally relents, sees her date & the driver hanging in the back then leaps out of the running truck. She’s a bit smarter than her date, actually running into thickets where the truck couldn’t reach but then the truck stops pursuing her. Leatherface comes out, chainsaw a-buzzing and the chase is on. I must admit, this scene was exhilarating. She runs back to Darla’s office; but is given a nasty shock when it turns out she’s involved. This has been a staple for the sequels-introducing seemingly normal characters that turn out to be part of the family.

They put her in a garbage bag then stick her in Darla’s car. In a surreal scene, Darla goes to pick up pizza while Renee is crying and screaming from the trunk. The drive-up guy asks her about it and she tells him flirting-ly that she has someone tied up back there. Then she gets out her car and pops the trunk to chide Renee for making so much noise. A policeman comes up but she flirts with him too so he doesn’t bother checking her trunk. On the way back to the house, she finds Heather lying in the middle of the road. This scene made no sense-the last we saw Heather, she was hanging on a meathook! HOW did she escape? Well, this might be explained, maybe I didn’t see the uncut version, there’s 7 minutes cut from the US version. Another nit-pick: we see her from the back but there’s no marks on her! She WAS on a hook!

The next 40 minutes is pretty much a re-tread from the first film, except there’s LOTS of screaming and yelling. I think this may have been the loudest horror movie EVER. There’s a lot of black humor too, though they end up muddying up the plot with a weird thing about an Illuminati conspiracy??? Huh???? They also took Leatherface to a different place too-he dresses in women’s clothes & skin. Personally I think it was an Ed Gein homage but it didn’t fit in the FOURTH movie! I felt bad for Renee too; they tortured her quite a bit in this movie. Matthew took scenery chewing to new heights but he & Darla had great chemistry and she was funny too.

I think this truly was SEQUELCIDE. I can’t imagine why this movie was made, there were no new revelations-unless you want to count a wholly unexplained classified government/illuminati thing. Maybe that was left on the cutting room floor too. I recommend this only if you’re a die-hard Renee Zellweger fan and want to see ALL of her work.